BB: Rage - A Social Commentary

Rage. Most love it, a select few live it. Wikipedia (a veritable treasure trove of information endorsed by academics everywhere) defines rage as, “a mental state that is one extreme of the intensity spectrum of anger”. While I’m a simple Nebraska boy so I dont done reckon I know what an “intensity spectrum” is, but I do know that Wikipedia done got it wrong. I’ve since tried to edit this page, but I am still blocked from editing Wikipedia for past transgressions. I digest. Getting back to the topic at hand, rage is defined by myself as an expression of disdain for societal constraints. Society, however, is a big fish (great movie) to fry, so often it is necessary to take performance-enhancing drugs. Now, i’m not talking about steroids, HGH, or dietary fiber. What I AM (yahweh) referring to is the crisp pilsner taste of natural light or its more powerful and mysterious cousin natural ice. With such aids (too soon) one can perform the noble task of sticking it to the Man, i.e. society. Whether its urinating in public(now a sexual offense in several states), stealing hilarious street signs, or breaking hilarious objects, rage empowers the individual to do what he/she pleases, regardless of what stuffy old society says. I had the opportunity to fully live rage in the land of new Z’s. There, police don’t carry weapons and thus are pushovers. Even without rageahol, one feels empowered. With the addition of a few bottles of what happened, one can show the kiwi establishment who’s boss. Whether it was breaking handrails and trash cans, urinating on landmarks of national significance, or blockading highways with the help of the ubiquitous safety cones, I really showed that stupid country why the rage, white, and blue gets it right. Here in Amurica, rage is so prevalent that society and its butt-buddy government have created all sorts of laws and statutes to hinder individual expression. In order to counter this, we, as Americans, must rage even harder to overcome such fetters. I never realized until I trekked to NZ that Americans rage harder than any other nation. (Though I did see us defeat Germany [again!] in the cinematic adventure Beerfest) As the keepers of rage, Americans have a responsibility to the world to show them the light. Citizens need no longer chafe under the yokes of totalitarian regimes. Indeed, if Iranians (Persians) raged more, instead of wearing nice jewelry and designer clothes, their oppressive government would surely crumble. With this in mind, I leave you (the reader) with the words of a true titan of rage, the Reverend Dr. Sir Martin Luther King Jr. M.D. Esq. PhD. who said, “The time is always right to rage”. On this Thursday night, Dr. King, I believe you’re right.
-Bobby Brown