KMG: The Stairs Lead to Cork, Come Visit Me Screw New Zealand

Hello to those who valiantly traipse through the unknown treacherous trails of life, I'm Kaela. I've been meaning to write many a post for months now but I haven't gotten my act together. Tonight is the night. I figured I'd start with some advice for our readers many of whom will be traveling to New Zealand this Sunday (safe travels dear friends!!) to the others, hopefully this will resonate with your experiences.

I've now been in Cork, Ireland for one month and 9 days, this in no way makes me a pro-study-abroader but I'd like to share a couple things I've learned with you all.

Pack Goldfish. You could even have despised this salty cheddar snack at home in

the states, cursed your mother out when she put it in your Hey Arnold lunch box, but in another country you will crave it. You will feel a slow burn low in your stomach that only Goldfish can satisfy. When you ask for it at grocery stores they'll direct you to the local equivalent of PetSmart, yummy. No really, I would do sick, sick things to get a box of Goldfish right now.

Try to stay awake once you touch down on the tarmac. The trip to your new home is incredibly enlightening. The unfamiliar landscapes rolling past will help you realize you are finally thousands and thousands of miles away from home. Enjoy the epiphany, take in the view.

There's no better way to learn about your new home than by taking a trip to the emergency room (called A&E here). Everyone should have a firsthand look at their country's healthcare system. And if its because you hit your head in a McDonald's bathroom and are profusely gushing blood even better. Ten points if you end up in a bed next to a Romanian gypsy man who spends the whole night vomiting up blood (gave me TB goddamnit). 15 if they wheel your stretcher into a hallway while you are sleeping and leave you there for a prolonged period of time. 100 points if you leave the hospital with a matted gore head wrapped in gauze like a sadistic version of Rambo.

Prepare for your first grocery store experience. You'll realize you aren't in Kansas anymore. Culture shock times a million. I am now a firm believer that grocery stores can show you more about a culture and a people than most walking tours. Browse through the brands. Here in Ireland they have almost an entire aisle dedicated to different varieties of mayonnaise (ick) and 1/9 of a shelf devoted to salad dressings, which the Irish call salad cream. I was also pleasantly surprised to realize the Irish are very health and environmentally conscious, not only do they not have preservatives in much of their food but they also make you pay for plastic bags! yayyy

Have your fair share of fun in the evening hours but don't ever leave by yourself, especially when you have no idea how to get home. This could result in you wandering around blackout in Cork City by yourself for 2 hours in subzero temperatures while your friends play a particularly nasty game of Where's Waldo. Don't worry you find a way home. You slur a plea for directions from Gardai (Irish police) and they kindly offer to escort you back to your humble abode. Except when you pull up and hop out to greet your friends they realize a strange old man has driven you home in an unmarked windowless green van. NOT GARDA. I'm extremely lucky the Irish are so kind and virtuous. The Kiwis? ehhh I doubt it. DONT LEAVE BY YOURSELF EVER.

Don't be bashful of acting like a tourist, yea be all sophisticated and shit but I can guarantee the locals will know you don't belong. So go ahead whip out the fanny pack but mostly do every touristy thing you can find and take as many pictures as possible. Inhibitions out the window people!!

I can't wait to hear about all your adventures and stalk the crap out of your facebook pictures. Safe travels. Go zorbing and take a pic of a glo-worm cave for me.

Always true,

Kaela G