The Nicky’s
Last night history was made as Nickelodeon held an award ceremony in honor of what it believes to be the most prodigious television station in the history mankind. The station in question is of course, Nickelodeon! Nick decided to change formats this year and switched over from the once coveted Kid’s Choice Awards. The decision was made after Nick was discontented with the rating of the Kid’s Choice Awards, which have gradually been sinking like an old man into a warm bath. An anonymous producer at Nickelodeon was quoted in an interview in which he said, “Kids can only watch Tim Allen talk about how many orange blimps he has won over the years for so long. You just get tired of it after a while!” The dissatisfied viewers is what prompted Nick to put on an award show which would honor actors and shows alike that have served as staples in the Nickelodeon family. The fore mentioned awards would come to be called, Nicky’s.
The ceremony was held in New York City and a myriad of former Nickelodeon stars were in attendance. The red carpet was a regular “who’s who?” of C list celebrities and actors who have since moved on to other professions. “I’m actually very confused,” says Sean O’neal, better known as Sam from Clarissa Explains It All. “I mean, I’m up against Mr. Dink in the category for “Best Neighbor”. What if I lose? How does a cartoon that hasn’t been on the air in seven years give an acceptance speech?” O’neal’s confusion was shared by many, but it did not seem to hamper the overall ecstatic atmosphere. However, security was forced to remove former child star, Danny Tamberelli. Nickelodeon severed ties with him years ago due to a “verbal altercation” he had with a child backstage of the popular game show Figure It Out. Tamberelli stumbled down the red carpet, clearly intoxicated, in a tuxedo tee shirt before security was forced to intervene.
There were twenty categories in the ceremony ranging from “Best Best Friend” (won by Jimmy Lee Newman a.k.a. “Goo”) to the highly controversial “Most Productive Asian Detective” (the girl that played Shelby Woo was the only nominee). Some winners were powerfully celebrated such as Olmec from Legends Of The Hidden Temple when he won the Nicky for “Best Assistant Host.” Olmec was the only winner to receive a standing ovation throughout the night. “I was just so happy to see him get his due,” said Mark Summers. “It’s about time he got the credit he deserved and not that f***face Kirk Fogg!” The biggest stunner of the night came in the form of Mr. Stimpleton from Rocket Power beating out Bobby Budnick to win “Biggest Asshole,” a result that nobody was more stunned by than Danny Cooksey. “When you spend years playing an asshole kid on T.V. people generally assume you’re a mean person. I’m not a mean person, it was just my character. I thought tonight would finally be the night that my role of “Budnick” would pay off.” The last category of the night was also the tightest race. It was the Nicky for “Most Troublesome On Screen Duo.” The highly favored Kenan Thompson and Kel Mitchell barely beat out the underdog cousin tandem from Cousin Skeeter. When asked about the award Mithcell replied, “In the end, it came down to the fact that they got away with their stunts. We got busted every time!” After receiving the award Thompson told Mitchell to grab a rubber duck, a snow blower, and a jar of mayonnaise and to meet him at the bridge! He then proceeded to run off stage.
Overall the ceremony ran smoothly and most people who attended reported having a sub-par to mediocre time. Only six people left in before it was over, one of whom was Sean O’neal, who did lose to Mr. Dink in the only category he was nominated for.
Other notable guests in attendance: Kevin the stage manager, two of three of the Brothers Garcia, Kenan’s boss Chris, Ug, Lori Beth Denberg, Summer Sanders, Omar Gooding, and the entire cast of Hey Dude.
**On my own related note, why did they start that Kel is dead rumor?
http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/kelmitchell.asp
Y'all Be Good,
Joseph.
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